it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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