it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
