I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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