woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
