THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
