is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
