Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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