Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
