I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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