Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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