well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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