we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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