Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize