a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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