sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
