when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
