is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
