things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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