hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
