I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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