she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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