What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
