Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
