How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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