a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
