I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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