Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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