my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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