I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
