Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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