The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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