It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
