I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
pop tarts are not kleenex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
