oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
