We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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