Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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