you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
