I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
