you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i now understand why vodka
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
