david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
