so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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