This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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