just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
