Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize