I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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