Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lipke hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.

Fav 48 5820 2577
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are

Fav 15 6679 1105
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

Fav 18 1309 4485
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.

Fav 2 4186 1009
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.

Fav 9 950 2776
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

Fav 10 1205 2011
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.

Fav 4 1140 636
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.

Fav 1 24 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo

Fav 0 42 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT