Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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