hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
