I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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