Quick, to the slutcave!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
