i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
