Acid is not a monday night drug
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
