woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
