Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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