There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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