Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize