Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize