he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
