Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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