and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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